Phils Phases Updated

1. The gun phase
2. The glowstick dancing phase
3. The bartering things on craigs list things phase
4. The bang phase
5. The P90X phase

And I really want to add "owning all of Mikes old stuff" phase, but everyone is in agreement that this is really more of a way of life.

LAME

So my laptop, cell phone, and car all decided to crap out in the same week. NOT COOL.

To quote the Hayden brothers "Everything I own is either a. broken b. crap to begin with."

Weekending In Ontario

"Hey you guys, let's go on a weekend trip to the falls! It'll be so much fun, we can get away for a while, see nature, have some beers, oh and we can catch the UFC fight up there!"

Sounds GREAT in theory. Let's take a look at how the trip actually went.

Upon departure:
"It's 234 miles to Canada, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. "
"OH CANADA...wait I have no idea what the rest of the words are."
Right about when we entered New York:
"Oh wait, no one has directions? Oh it's fine just use the gps...Oh you mean it doesn't come preloaded with maps of Canada? Thank God for cell phones...wait this doesn't have Canada either...shit."

Upon pulling into the hotel:
"Oh this is the hotel? I was expecting it to be a total crap hole. This doesn't look so bad, good pick Lauren!"

Upon entering the room:
"Oh it smells, do you guys smell that?"
"Well it doesn't look so bad...hey look we have a mini fridge, that could come in handy. "
"Guys seriously don't touch the bedding if you don't have to, we'll go get the sheets...and buy towels...and purel."

"Oh guy's...oh no, they didn't even change the towels... OR CLEAN THE TOILET! Going to the bathroom is not happening this weekend."
"Wait a minute, why do the lights not work?"
"What do you mean there are no outlets!"
"Did someone punch a hole in the wall?!"
"Maybe we spoke too soon"
John: "No way this place is awesome!! Look, the TV is preset to Spike!!! This place was MADE for us!"

Upon waking up the next morning:
"Did the pimps with the domestic dispute keep anyone else up last night?"
"Will someone help me shower without actually taking a shower?"
(yes that's right, I leaned my head over the shower...no way I was getting naked in the bathroom where black mold came to retire.)
"I had a dream there was a dead hooker under the bed...no John don't actually look, I don't want to know."

Upon seeing the falls and it's millions of gift shops:
"This was definitely cooler when I was seven."
Saturday nights in Canada:
"Oh that little Mexican canteena looks good"
"Wait...why is everyone that works here Jewish..."
"We're getting charged extra for sour cream?!? I'm starting to miss America."

Well that was the trip, I'm writing it off as a fabulous adventure/lost weekend with some of my favorite people. Would I ever do it again? Sure why not, but I'm staying at a Marriott and I'm getting a tan.

For Jen

My brother and sister in law (Mike and Jen) first started me on my blogging adventure many many years ago. Since then, I've had both truly wonderful and terrible blog postings. And have this year let my blog fall to the wayside. I recently received an email from Jen demanding new blog posts, now those of you that know Jen, know that she doesn't get demanding very often (unless Addie starts acting up), so for her to complain about my lack for blogging was a wake up call. So here we go again, Things I love about my sister Jen.

1. She almost never loses her cool, whether she's angry or upset, she holds it together.
2. She can organize really really well, I mean with labels on drawers and twisty ties. It's serious stuff.
3. She always has time to listen to my boring stuff, even with a full time job, two kids, a bible study, and all the chores and stuff (yes i know Mike you help a lot too).
4. She's good at tons of stuff, yet she's secure enough in her own talents to embrace other peoples.
5. She always lets me come over and see the kids, this might not sound like a big deal to some people, but I consider myself very fortunate that both of my sis in laws make sure that seeing Aunt Kelly is a priority. I love you both for that.
6. She has the best laugh, Jen's laugh is so fun and infectious, you can't help but smile.
7. She comes up with awesome nicknames that I like to steal such as LadyLoo, Lovebug that kind of stuff.
8. She still uses the word "Booyah" and makes it sounds cool.
9. Has a seemingly unlimited supply of patience.
10. Makes me my own supply of shortbread squares, ever since I was little, because she knows they are my favorite.

Ladies and Gents, one of the best women I know, Jen "The Pons" Medved.

Maine and Canada

I had the best vacation ever. I really did. Here are the highlights (in no particular order).
1. Spectacular Sunsets


2. Free room service 24/7. I love cheeseburgers at 2 am and breakfast in bed.

3. Kayaking in Bar Harbor (picture on waterproof cam, still waiting to get developed).
4. LOBSTER and lots of it.
4. St Johns, New Brunswick, Canada.
Reversing Rapids at high tide(totally amazing even though it looks peaceful)
5. Sweet sea caves, coupled with wonderful chowder, wonderful company, and homemade biscuits.
6. Beating John at chess. Epic win for sure.
7. Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Final resting place for most Titanic victims (just for you Kelsey).
Peggy's Cove, the most beautiful place on the eastern seaboard as far as I'm concerned.

I adore Canada and totally love Maine. :) Amazing Trip.

New Background

Now I know my background says "happy easter", but my old one got deleted and I like this one. Don't judge :)

Video of the Day

YouTube - Grandpa Lady Gaga Poker Face Dance

Proof that old dogs can learn new tricks.

DMB Highlights

1. Dave never fails to produce one hell of a show.
2. We had amazing neighbors on the lawn (to the left and the right) who danced with us, predicted the next song, and appreciated the music as much as we did.
3. The set list was awesome, they played a lot of songs that I've never seen live.
4. It's always a good time to watch all the drunken riffraff on the lawn.
5. It always falls right around my birthday.

Now there is good news and bad news in all of this. The good news is that my excellent older brother Mike Medved (who if you haven't read his fabulous blog yet you should) found a website that streams ALL of DMB's live shows. So if you wanna listen to our concert or any other live DMB show you can. You can listen here.

The Bad News: DMB isn't touring next year. :( MASSIVE BUMMER

Kentuckying

My friends and I are going to be juniors in college, it's almost a crime that we haven't taken a road trip yet, so our trip to Kentucky was formed. Overall a fabulous trip with fabulous people. Next year: Pennsylvania (I know we dream big).

Here are some funny things along the way.

One Truck Full of Illegal Immigrants:


Four really encouraging billboards:


16 Adult Shops (really Kentucky, you have nothing better to do?):

And of course the gem of Kentucky (drum roll please):

BIG MIKE'S ROCK EMPORIUM, GIFT SHOP AND MYSTERY HOUSE (a bizarre oddity you WILL NOT want to miss):

Along with getting 41 truckers to honk at us (don't judge me, 8 hours of driving makes a person crazy), our trip included listening to really old mixed tapes from high school, swimming, bonfires, hobo pies, and of course seeing the amazing Mammoth Caves. Can't wait for next year.

Golfing, The Gentlemens Sport!

Hi Everyone it's been a while I know.

So let me let you in on a little secret. I used to think that golf was a sport for men and women of class and refinement. Well John has officially proven that theory wrong. Here is a short list of things my guy has done while on the golf course.

1. Doesn't have any balls! John doesn't bring balls, oh no, he steals balls left in sand traps and water hazards.
2. Doesn't bring any tee's. Keep in mind the tee is the least expensive part of golfing, it's like 99 cents for a box of 100. John uses the broken tee's and sharpens them with his pocket knife.
3. Have to go to the bathroom while golfing? No worries, just whip it out on the green and go for it. I'm surprised John didn't get arrested for this yet.
4. Curse at the golf ball. As loud as you can. While trying to make a putt under 10 feet.

My guy is just the classiest. :)

Diverse City

Last Saturday the gang and I headed up to Cleveland to catch an Indians game and jam out with the Newsboys (who's new front man is Michael Tait of DC Talk). while the game was really cold and uneventful the concert proved differently.

Although the concert wasn't very long, I really enjoyed watching the Q fill up with Christians from all over Cleveland. So often I feel like our city is spiritually dry. Like we are a dried up mud pit, dirty, cracked, and broken. It was so refreshing to be surrounded by other brothers and sisters under the umbrella of Jesus, where denomination, race, age, or gender didn't matter. Just a whole ton of people, blacks, whites, Indians, old men, little girls, teenagers, poor, and rich, got together to worship Jesus.

It reminded me how important unity is within the Body of Christ.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus" Romans 15:5

Addie-ism's I Find Myself Using

Tree= Broccoli
Peg= Egg
Peanut= Penis
Iwahojuuu= I want to hold you/can I have a hug?
Honieday= Sesame Street
What have you= What do you have?
All da single wadies= Single Ladies (I will never sing that song correctly again)

I know there are more...

Confessions of a Quarter Lifer

For those of you who haven't heard of the term quarter lifer, or quarter life crisis, Wikipedia, and Urban Dictionary have some good ways of explaining it.

1. The years between 20-30 when your parents stop telling you how to live you life - and stop financing it.

2. A term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties.

1. I feel a huge urge to go on adventures. (Camping, kayaking, geocaching, etc)
2. I want to go places, see the world! (AFRICA, AFRICA, AFRICA!)
3. Sex...it's a big deal.
4. I have this irresistible compulsion to spend my money on stupid stuff. (DMB tickets...or books for next semester???)
5. I freak out easily when discussing my future. (Grad school, marriage, kids, debts, loans...AHHH!)
6. I have way too strong of opinions and voice them way too much. (predestination, it's all over the book of Romans...duh)
7. My mental filter is still underdeveloped. (Your new haircut makes your face look weird)
8. The suppressed temptation to abuse alcohol. (I, unlike most quarter-lifers, rarely drink, so it's still mysterious).

"Call it a quarter life crisis... or just a stirring in my soul" --John Mayer

New Blog..that's not so new.

So I just discovered Michelle Ponstingles blog. Totally wish i'd discovered it years ago. Totally worth visiting friends.

Michelle's Blog

She also introduced me to the term Quarter-Life which i'm dedicating my upcoming blog on. :)

Look out kids, it's about to get crazy!

Niger

John and I are going there.

My Brother Phil.

Phil goes through phases where he gets really really pumped about things. Like a hobby or buying something. Every time this happens my family can't help but laugh. More often then not, if Phil indulges in his obsession we know it's ending up on Ebay by the end of the month.

PHIL'S PHASES:

1. The Dj equipment phase.
2. Fixing the Comet phase.**
3. Knights of the Old Republic phase.
4. The Aztec phase.
5. The fish tank phase.**
6. The "living in a trailer" phase.
7. The buying a Yukon phase.**
8. The paintball phase.
9. The camping phase.**
10. The Halo phase.
11. The Star Wars phase.
12. The Minivan phase.
13. The Karate phase.
14. The working on cars phase.
15. The salsa dancing phase.


I'm sure there are more, help me out here family

GET PUMPED

So I usually need a little motivation right before I take a test. I need something to get all the blood flowing. I've compiled a short list of videos that help boost your confidence.

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes
Protect This House

Mike All Grown Up.

You know it's weird being the youngest sibling. No matter how old I get I still feel like a kid when I'm around my siblings. What's even weirder is watching my older brothers grow up. I was talking to Mike the other day while I had a FLASHBACK....

It's one in the afternoon after some HUGE football game, I think OSU won national champs that year. Mike was still asleep, and was very sick, I thought he eaten some bad shrimp (I now know he was just hungover). He finally woke up, took a shower, drank some coffee and talked to me for a while while wearing a "sun your buns" t shirt. I'd been up since 9 or 10.

FLASHFORWARD...
Mike is MARRIED and has TWO (gorgeous) kids.

Mike: Kell can you watch Sam while I take Addie to swimming lessons, can you be here by like 8:50?

Me: 8:50!?!?!?!?!?!? Mike, you simply cannot expect me to wake up that early!!

Mike: Well you could always sleepover and save drive time...oh wait the kids will probably wake us all up around 6.


umm hello time, could you stop going so fast? One minute my big brother is a hungover, college bum wearing thrift store t shirts, to a Godly, successful, family man! Mike it's been awesome watching you grow up. :)

Early Birthday List

I've got tons of books on my birthday wish list. I wanted to write them down so that I won't forget. Lots of props to my siblings who tell me about all this wonderful literature.

1. Captivating (I keep giving it away)
2. Every Woman's Battle (keep giving it away)
3. The Torch and the Sword.
4. Bondage Breaker
5. Heaven
6. A Case for Christ.
7. Studies in the Sermon on the Mount.
8. Fearless
9. Love and Respect
10. Crazy Love
11. Knowing God
12. Blue Like jazz
13. All I Need is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans (per Jen's recommendation)
14. Sacred Influence
15. Wild at Heart (I keep giving this book away too)
I probably have more but this is good for now. :)

Slow Fade

God's been showing me never and over again that it's the little choices that change who you are.
People never crumble in a day.
It's a s l o w f a d e .

"And this is the message I proclaim—that the day is coming when God, through Christ Jesus, will judge everyone’s secret life." Romans 2:16

Malone Boys

I've been wanting to write a post on Malone boys for quite some time now. Now keep in mind I am dating one which is how I get all of this information. I've discovered that they are the most shocking, hilarious, and disgusting group of men I've encountered in a while. Here is why:

1. They pooped in each others microwaves, and turn it on...EWW
2. One of them caught a chipmunk and released it in the cafeteria...where people eat.
3. They over flow their own urinals...what's the point?!
4. One of them found a dead cat on the side of the road, and put it in the fireplace of the barn...where it got torched.
5. Two of them put a pound of lunch meat in the ceiling tiles...of their own floor and left it there for an entire semester.
6. One of them released a bunch of mice during chapel to create chaos...and a football player started stomping them to death.
7. John doesn't wear shower shoes in the bathroom.
8. One of them put three open cans of sardines in Mitch's room.
9. They tried to kill a tarantula with a stapler...and a knife.
10. They are ALWAYS naked, like why would you want to be naked around other guys so much

What is my problem?!

Most of you have known me for a while now. So why is it that I can't seem to keep a cell phone for more than like a year?! Take a journey with me as we examine the ghosts of cell phones past...

My very first phone, The LG 245
This phone was awesome because it was my first phone. I got it in the fall of my freshmen year of high school and I believe that it was out of commission by that summer.
Cause of Death: I dropped it in a bucket of water I was soaking my feet in.




My Second Phone: LG VX5200
This was the replacement phone for my first phone. we decided not to get insurance on this phone because the "bucket incident" was a fluke and I was going to be MUCH more careful this time. This phone came from a friend or relative so we didn't have to pay for it. I actually kept this one until it was time to renew.




My Third Phone: Motorola RazrV3
This phone was AWESOME. We decided to get insurance on this one because it was expensive. After it broke they sent me a silver one from the insurance company.
Cause of Death: Dropped and cracked front screen, dropped in a puddle resulting in water damage.




My Fourth Phone: Motorola RazrV3 Silver
This phone was a refurb for sure. It lasted six months to eight months...if that.
Cause of Death: Randomly turning on and off, couldn't hold a charge.



My Fifth Phone: LG Dare
My first touch screen, received it Christmas of my freshman year of college. Last exactly one year. Cause of Death: Got rolled over by a rocking chair resulting in a non functioning screen.
My Sixth Phone: LG Dare Replacement.
This was such a piece of crap. Also a refurb. Lasted two weeks.
Cause of Death: Touch screen didn't work, screen looks like a glowstick.


My Seventh Phone: Envy3
I'm really pumped to get this next phone. Both my girlfriends have it and they say it's great. Also it's not a touch screen so I'm hoping it'll be more durable. Also you can get two for $50 bucks at Verizon right now.

Pretty Sure

that no one ever reads my blogs accept maybe mike and jen. boo on that

Bucket List

I guess everyone is posting their "bucket list" on their blogs. Here goes mine.

1. Scuba dive in the Caribbean.
2. Give a really good toast at someones wedding.
3. Get married to the man of my dreams aka John.
4. Lead a woman's group at church.
5. Travel to Europe.
6. Own a new car.
7. Do donuts in a parking lot with my friends while listening to Baba O'Riley really loud.
8. Be a certified counselor, and really help people.
9. Own a really expensive espresso machine.
10. Win an award for something.
11. Pray with some homeless people.
12. Get as good at scrap-booking as my sister Jen is.
13. Make fantastic meals.
14. Have lots of awesome sex with my husband.
15. Be a mom.
16. Go on a really scary roller coaster, even if i hate every second of it.
17. Kiss in the rain...notebook style.
18. Own my own kayak and take it out regularly.
19. Be a regular at a restaurant or coffee shop.
20. Stop biting my fingernails.
21. Learn the game of football.
22. Feel comfortable with my body no matter what it looks like.
23. Get a better tan than Kelsey.
24. Learn to love red wine.
25. Go on a Sandals honeymoon.
26. Own a cat and a dog.
27. Learn to skip.
28. Be able to make that water drop noise against my cheek.
29. Own a MacBook.
30. Travel to Jerusalem.
31. Help a complete stranger.
32. Dye my hair brown.
33. Keep a phone undamaged for at least 2 years.
34. Have a swimming pool in my backyard.
35. Live in a state other than Ohio.
36. Buy a really awesome outfit at a thrift store.
37. Hold and/or touch a snake.
38. Get wasted on my 21st birthday.
39. Win some kind of eating contest.
40. Go to Vegas.
41. Get a massage.
42. Have a fairytale wedding.
43. See Dave Matthews from the first ten rows.
44. Climb a mountain.
45. Grow a vegetable garden.
46. Do something useful with my $420 prom dress.
47. Try to downhill ski.
48. Learn to ballroom dance (at least the basics).
49. Throw really awesome Halloween and Christmas parties.
50. Eat fondue.
51. Own a boat.
52. Go on lots of mission trips.
53. Go to Africa.
54. Listen to every song in my iTunes library.
55. Have a refrigerator that has a crushed ice feature.
56. Own soup spoons.
57. Go on big family vacations with my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grandparents, and my husband and children.
58. Give someone really great advice.
59. Have a foreign exchange student live with my family.
60. Eat the recommended dose of vegetables your supposed to have in one day.
61. Throw or have thrown a surprise party.
62. Have lots of Bible verses memorized.
63. Crochet a blanket.
64. Go on a week long road trip.
65. Camp on the beech.
66. Jump off a waterfall.
67. Get better at the game of chess.
68. Beat everyone at Settlers of Catan.
69. Hahahah 69.
70. Start listening to NPR.
71. Learn how to use photoshop.
72. Learn to play the piano.
73. Run a 5k.
74. Learn to put on perfect sexy eye make up.
75. Be psoriasis free!!
76. Sponsor a child in another country.
77. Memorize a poem.
78. Spend a night with my husband, under the stars, in a tent, in the middle of a rainstorm.
79. Go back to Hawaii.
80. Have the president I voted for win the election.
81. Finish reading Walden Pond.
82. Own a car that has a rear window wiper.
83. Learn to keep my room clean.
84. Be able to swim underwater without holding my nose.
85. Go inside the statue of liberty.
86. Go swimming with my girlfriends in the middle of the night.
87. Be asked to marry someone in a really romantic way.
88. Dress up as a StarWars character (anyone accept jar jar) for Halloween.
89. Roll down a really really big hill.
90. Be in a worship band.
91. Drink loose tea.
92. Get baptized again with my husband.
93. Have an amazing relationship with a daughter.
94. Own a pair of Pumas.
95. Eat a piece of the best cake in the world.
96. Carve my name on a tree (or something like that).
97. Put something of mine in a time capsule.
98. Take a really cool photograph.
99. Learn most of the lines to Empire Strikes Back.
100. Be completely peaceful and secure right before I die.
101. Meet the owner of Melt Bar & Grill and tell him his restaurant is amazing.

Nanny 911

So the other day I was babysitting like I do every Tuesday night. I finished up early because Addie was sick and Sam went to sleep fairly easy. I decided to stay a few more minutes just to make sure they were both really asleep. I went to the computer, checked my email and some other random stuff, when out of the corner of my eye I saw an open tab (Mike and Jen ALWAYS have like a zillion tabs open). It said "How to tell if you have a bad babysitter".

Guess I shouldn't quit my day job.

National Geographic...more than just pictures of tribal people.

I heard the coolest thing in my Earth Science class today, mark the calendar because you'll probably never hear me start a blog that way again. My teacher is really awesome, I'm pretty sure he's a christian (sometimes you can just tell) but aside from that he gets really off topic. Today instead of teaching us about faults and earthquakes and stuff he told us about an investigation that National Geographic is doing (completely unrelated to any religious affiliation). Its called The Geno Project. Basically you pay the really smart guys at NG $90, they take a swab of your cheek, and trace back your DNA through your ancestors using the most advanced technology available. You know what they found?! Everyond that has participated from all over the world can be linked back to one man, and one woman back in Africa. AWESOME! here's the site: https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com/genographic/index.html