Malone Boys

I've been wanting to write a post on Malone boys for quite some time now. Now keep in mind I am dating one which is how I get all of this information. I've discovered that they are the most shocking, hilarious, and disgusting group of men I've encountered in a while. Here is why:

1. They pooped in each others microwaves, and turn it on...EWW
2. One of them caught a chipmunk and released it in the cafeteria...where people eat.
3. They over flow their own urinals...what's the point?!
4. One of them found a dead cat on the side of the road, and put it in the fireplace of the barn...where it got torched.
5. Two of them put a pound of lunch meat in the ceiling tiles...of their own floor and left it there for an entire semester.
6. One of them released a bunch of mice during chapel to create chaos...and a football player started stomping them to death.
7. John doesn't wear shower shoes in the bathroom.
8. One of them put three open cans of sardines in Mitch's room.
9. They tried to kill a tarantula with a stapler...and a knife.
10. They are ALWAYS naked, like why would you want to be naked around other guys so much

What is my problem?!

Most of you have known me for a while now. So why is it that I can't seem to keep a cell phone for more than like a year?! Take a journey with me as we examine the ghosts of cell phones past...

My very first phone, The LG 245
This phone was awesome because it was my first phone. I got it in the fall of my freshmen year of high school and I believe that it was out of commission by that summer.
Cause of Death: I dropped it in a bucket of water I was soaking my feet in.




My Second Phone: LG VX5200
This was the replacement phone for my first phone. we decided not to get insurance on this phone because the "bucket incident" was a fluke and I was going to be MUCH more careful this time. This phone came from a friend or relative so we didn't have to pay for it. I actually kept this one until it was time to renew.




My Third Phone: Motorola RazrV3
This phone was AWESOME. We decided to get insurance on this one because it was expensive. After it broke they sent me a silver one from the insurance company.
Cause of Death: Dropped and cracked front screen, dropped in a puddle resulting in water damage.




My Fourth Phone: Motorola RazrV3 Silver
This phone was a refurb for sure. It lasted six months to eight months...if that.
Cause of Death: Randomly turning on and off, couldn't hold a charge.



My Fifth Phone: LG Dare
My first touch screen, received it Christmas of my freshman year of college. Last exactly one year. Cause of Death: Got rolled over by a rocking chair resulting in a non functioning screen.
My Sixth Phone: LG Dare Replacement.
This was such a piece of crap. Also a refurb. Lasted two weeks.
Cause of Death: Touch screen didn't work, screen looks like a glowstick.


My Seventh Phone: Envy3
I'm really pumped to get this next phone. Both my girlfriends have it and they say it's great. Also it's not a touch screen so I'm hoping it'll be more durable. Also you can get two for $50 bucks at Verizon right now.

Pretty Sure

that no one ever reads my blogs accept maybe mike and jen. boo on that

Bucket List

I guess everyone is posting their "bucket list" on their blogs. Here goes mine.

1. Scuba dive in the Caribbean.
2. Give a really good toast at someones wedding.
3. Get married to the man of my dreams aka John.
4. Lead a woman's group at church.
5. Travel to Europe.
6. Own a new car.
7. Do donuts in a parking lot with my friends while listening to Baba O'Riley really loud.
8. Be a certified counselor, and really help people.
9. Own a really expensive espresso machine.
10. Win an award for something.
11. Pray with some homeless people.
12. Get as good at scrap-booking as my sister Jen is.
13. Make fantastic meals.
14. Have lots of awesome sex with my husband.
15. Be a mom.
16. Go on a really scary roller coaster, even if i hate every second of it.
17. Kiss in the rain...notebook style.
18. Own my own kayak and take it out regularly.
19. Be a regular at a restaurant or coffee shop.
20. Stop biting my fingernails.
21. Learn the game of football.
22. Feel comfortable with my body no matter what it looks like.
23. Get a better tan than Kelsey.
24. Learn to love red wine.
25. Go on a Sandals honeymoon.
26. Own a cat and a dog.
27. Learn to skip.
28. Be able to make that water drop noise against my cheek.
29. Own a MacBook.
30. Travel to Jerusalem.
31. Help a complete stranger.
32. Dye my hair brown.
33. Keep a phone undamaged for at least 2 years.
34. Have a swimming pool in my backyard.
35. Live in a state other than Ohio.
36. Buy a really awesome outfit at a thrift store.
37. Hold and/or touch a snake.
38. Get wasted on my 21st birthday.
39. Win some kind of eating contest.
40. Go to Vegas.
41. Get a massage.
42. Have a fairytale wedding.
43. See Dave Matthews from the first ten rows.
44. Climb a mountain.
45. Grow a vegetable garden.
46. Do something useful with my $420 prom dress.
47. Try to downhill ski.
48. Learn to ballroom dance (at least the basics).
49. Throw really awesome Halloween and Christmas parties.
50. Eat fondue.
51. Own a boat.
52. Go on lots of mission trips.
53. Go to Africa.
54. Listen to every song in my iTunes library.
55. Have a refrigerator that has a crushed ice feature.
56. Own soup spoons.
57. Go on big family vacations with my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grandparents, and my husband and children.
58. Give someone really great advice.
59. Have a foreign exchange student live with my family.
60. Eat the recommended dose of vegetables your supposed to have in one day.
61. Throw or have thrown a surprise party.
62. Have lots of Bible verses memorized.
63. Crochet a blanket.
64. Go on a week long road trip.
65. Camp on the beech.
66. Jump off a waterfall.
67. Get better at the game of chess.
68. Beat everyone at Settlers of Catan.
69. Hahahah 69.
70. Start listening to NPR.
71. Learn how to use photoshop.
72. Learn to play the piano.
73. Run a 5k.
74. Learn to put on perfect sexy eye make up.
75. Be psoriasis free!!
76. Sponsor a child in another country.
77. Memorize a poem.
78. Spend a night with my husband, under the stars, in a tent, in the middle of a rainstorm.
79. Go back to Hawaii.
80. Have the president I voted for win the election.
81. Finish reading Walden Pond.
82. Own a car that has a rear window wiper.
83. Learn to keep my room clean.
84. Be able to swim underwater without holding my nose.
85. Go inside the statue of liberty.
86. Go swimming with my girlfriends in the middle of the night.
87. Be asked to marry someone in a really romantic way.
88. Dress up as a StarWars character (anyone accept jar jar) for Halloween.
89. Roll down a really really big hill.
90. Be in a worship band.
91. Drink loose tea.
92. Get baptized again with my husband.
93. Have an amazing relationship with a daughter.
94. Own a pair of Pumas.
95. Eat a piece of the best cake in the world.
96. Carve my name on a tree (or something like that).
97. Put something of mine in a time capsule.
98. Take a really cool photograph.
99. Learn most of the lines to Empire Strikes Back.
100. Be completely peaceful and secure right before I die.
101. Meet the owner of Melt Bar & Grill and tell him his restaurant is amazing.

Nanny 911

So the other day I was babysitting like I do every Tuesday night. I finished up early because Addie was sick and Sam went to sleep fairly easy. I decided to stay a few more minutes just to make sure they were both really asleep. I went to the computer, checked my email and some other random stuff, when out of the corner of my eye I saw an open tab (Mike and Jen ALWAYS have like a zillion tabs open). It said "How to tell if you have a bad babysitter".

Guess I shouldn't quit my day job.